Saturday, March 14, 2020

Coronavirus Diary Day 2: March 14, 2020


Social Distancing, Closed Borders, and Prepper Podcasts

The buzz phrase these days is Social Distancing. By now, we all know what this means, but I’m not shitting you when I say I never heard the term before last week. Certainly, this phrase was invented by Gwyneth Paltrow when she consciously uncoupled from Chris Martin.

While a definition is completely unnecessary unless you live under a rock, I’m choosing to provide one anyway. See, I’m hoping that 70 years from now, my grandchildren will come across this blog, and they too will have never heard the term Social Distancing, because by then, humanity has the cures to all of the world’s diseases, past present and future.

Wikipedia says:

“Social distancing is a set of nonpharmaceutical infection control actions intended to stop or slow down the spread of a contagious disease. The objective of social distancing is to reduce the probability of contact between persons carrying an infection, and others who are not infected, so as to minimize disease transmission, morbidity, and ultimately, mortality.”

In short, when it has been used effectively, the practice of social distancing has been proven to reduce disease and lessen the burden on healthcare providers and services.

We're doing our part!

In the last few weeks, and even more so in the past few days, social distancing has been implemented around the globe. As of today, the USA has extended its European travel ban to the UK and Ireland. In Europe, more and more countries are also closing their borders as COVID-19 spreads.

Where I live, schools are closed. People have been asked to work from home. Public gatherings are cancelled. Catholics are excused from Sunday Mass. Saint Patrick’s Day has been erased from the calendar. Our world is becoming more and more isolated with each minute that ticks by.

Or is it?

I mean, according to my friends’ Facebook posts, there are still plenty of social activities to keep us occupied (and drunk) all weekend. I assume these gatherings are less than 100 people? Let’s say they are.

But the grocery stores? For heaven’s sake, people. Now, like I said yesterday, I’m not judging. By this time next week, we will all be grateful that we stocked up on food and supplies. As social distancing becomes more and more necessary, we are going to be trapped in our houses. That is just a fact. But the irony here is that we are currently packing thousands of people into grocery stores. They are all touching the same things, waiting hours in crowded lines, and using the same credit card machines. I don’t know what else is happening in there. Job interviews, speed dating, prostitution? I mean, these grocery stores have become little ecosystems.

Today, President Trump was asked about closing domestic borders, and he hinted that it’s not entirely impossible. Can you even imagine? I’ve been hoping beyond all hope for like 30 years that we could close the border between Philadelphia and Camden, but now that it’s here, well. That just seems barbaric.

I say this because I’m currently in my bug-out location in Upstate New York. I didn’t come here to bug-out, not even to prepare for a bug-out. I’m here to take advantage of the last ski weekend in the Adirondacks before all the snow melts. It’s not exactly social distancing, but come on. Skiers wear a lot of protective gear.

Giles is Social Distancing

Anyway, I told my husband we better have our asses home in King of Prussia by tomorrow night, because there ain’t no fucking way I’m letting Donald Trump tell me that I’m stuck in New York indefinitely. I’m not sure how that’s going over with my husband yet, but come hell or high water, I don’t want to acquire Coronavirus anywhere other than Pennsylvania.

That’s where my Tastykakes are.

Oh, I know what you’re asking yourself right now. What the heck is a bug-out location, and how do I get one? Trust me, it’s another term I’d never heard before last week. I’m starting to feel buzz phrase deprived in recent days, like it’s been far too long since I’ve held an office job. I’m still saying things like “circle back” and “regroup” and for chrissake, does anyone still say “follow up?” In the meantime, the rest of these little rascals are saying “social distancing” and “bug-out” and “TikTok famous.”

It was merely out of curiosity that I downloaded a batch of podcasts focused on doomsday prepping. I’m not the type, you need to believe me, but I have to admit, these guys have some good points. Apparently, baking soda is pretty important. I mean, it helps with bee stings and you can brush your teeth with it. Alcohol can be used as a hand sanitizer, and also, you can just get drunk. Perhaps most importantly, as we all learned from Kevin Costner’s Waterworld, Juuls and Puff Bars can make good currency.

I first heard of the bug-out location while listening to these guys: Casual Preppers Podcast. Give them a whirl. They are actually very entertaining.

Lastly, here is an update on the current Coronavirus infection stats:

COVID-19 Cases:
155,812 (That’s nearly 10,500 more than yesterday)

Deaths:
5,814

Recovered:
74,268

Active Currently Infected Patients:
75,730

Currently Mild Condition:
69,806 (92%)

Currently Serious or Critical:
5,924 (8%)

Tomorrow, I would like to discuss celebrities with Coronavirus. Yeah, go ahead and judge me. In the meantime, stay safe out there.

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