Coronavirus Diary Day 35: April 16, 2020
People are Going Stir Crazy
Today, my kid told me about “number
neighbors.” This has apparently been a thing since last summer, but now with
the lockdown and all, it’s become as commonplace as homemade face masks. You
send a text message to the phone number exactly like yours, except add or subtract a
number to your last digit. I looked up the hashtag on Twitter, and there are
some pretty hilarious screenshots. I really want to text my number neighbor,
but I’m too self-conscious for that. Hopefully, my number neighbor will text me
instead.
I’d be a damn cool number
neighbor.
People of the world have gotten
really goofy during the past 6 weeks. I had to stop looking at TikTok, because
I was blushing every time some random dad embarrassed himself. Celebrities
aren’t wearing makeup. Martha Stewart got really drunk the other night and
posted an incoherent comment on an unsuspecting farmer’s Instagram post.
Innocent businessmen are giving themselves crew cuts with their old clippers. I
attended a virtual poetry reading on Zoom last week, where a woman wore an eye
patch and chain smoked cigarettes in her living room. I don’t even write
poetry, so.
Folks are making their animals do
weird shit on social media, which is so unfair to those poor animals, who have
no idea how to block their parents the way teenagers do. Other folks are
hosting family dinners, where each member of the family comes dressed as a
character from Tiger King.
On Monday, France told Amazon
they can only deliver essential items, effective immediately. So you know what
Amazon did? On Wednesday, they closed all of their warehouses and suspended
services in France. I guess they got the last word. (Americans would go ape
shit, by the way).
It snowed this morning. Go
figure.
You guys, we really need the
world to get back to normal.
But I mean, do we? Like,
yeah, of course we all want our old lives back. We crave human interaction. We want
to go places. We wish we had jobs. But at the same time, isn’t there a teeny,
tiny part of you that’s sort of like, man, April 30th is approaching just a
little too fast? Personally, as I find new ways of adjusting and coping
and surviving, I’m settling into this quarantine life more comfortably than I
want to admit. When all of this is over, and we’re back in the world, talking
face to face with other humans, wearing actual clothes and shoes, pretending to
be sane again, I might have a legit panic attack.
OK, let me tell you about one of
the best things I’ve discovered while adjusting to this new and improved
lifestyle. One of my favorite restaurants, Founding Farmers in King of Prussia,
is offering Food Packs with contactless, curbside pickup. Food Packs range in
price from $35 - $100, and include all kinds of nutritional goodness. The
cheapest option includes milk, eggs, fresh baked bread, soup, pancake mix,
whipped butter, potatoes, green beans, onions, parsley, oranges, bananas, and
even 2 rolls of toilet paper. I picked up my Food Pack today, along with 3
salmon fillets and a pint of coffee ice cream, and I couldn’t have been
happier. The customer service experience alone was so good that even if the
food were terrible, I still would have been delighted. As it turns out, of
course, the food is amazing.
I swear to God, I’m not getting
paid for this.
Founding Farmers KoP $35 Food Pack |
Founding Farmers Food Pack contactless curbside pickup straight into my trunk (hatchback) |
Butternut Squash Soup, Fresh Baked Multigrain Bread, Whipped Butter - Founding Farmers $35 Food Pack |
Grocery stores are struggling to
keep up with the demand for delivery and curbside pickup orders. I get that. I
put an order into Wegmans several days ago, after nearly a week of trying to
get a delivery slot. From what I can tell, my order should arrive on Sunday,
which is 3 days from now. Look, I’m not mad about it. I have the ability to
shop for myself if I need to. Not everyone does. There are actual sick people
out there who are forbidden to leave their homes. Also, old people.
I’m even OK with the fact that
The Hubs has been working from home for over a month. I felt myself becoming
agitated the last couple of days, and I wondered if I might throw an
uncalled-for hissy fit. I was mostly annoyed at the dog, and recognizing this,
I took it out on the dog. In the meantime, I tried to smile at everything The
Hubs said or did. When I awoke this morning, I was over it. Which brings up
another thing. Mood swings. I’ve been mostly positive. But I go through micro
blasts of anxiety, confusion, sadness, frustration, and generalized
discombobulation. I imagine it’s the same thing playing out in houses and
apartments around the globe.
The Dog |
With that said, around the globe:
Confirmed COVID-19 Cases:
2,176,164
Global Death Toll:
145,304
USA Cases:
675,527
USA Deaths:
34,522
New York State Deaths: 11,477
Pennsylvania Deaths: 707
Philadelphia Deaths: 134
(Currently, 7,684 patients hospitalized)
More importantly – right now – than confirmed
COVID-19 cases and deaths is the number of patients in ICUs. Reports seem to
indicate that number is both leveling off and/or declining in many parts of the
world, including NYC. Which means governments and politicians are itching to
get the economy open again. Rightfully so!
But what happens after all of us people have spent a night celebrating
our newfound freedom with tequila shots at the local strip club? It’s not like
we have a vaccine or a cure, yanno? I’m just a dumb blonde from Roxborough, but
it doesn’t make… sense?
Also, yo Philly nurses! Youz guys are slaying this.
That’s all she wrote, friends. See you next week!
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