Coronavirus Diary Day 46: April 27, 2020

States Prepare to Reopen, Despite Ominous 5G Threats

I’ve been keeping this diary for 46 days. There’s nothing significant about that number but, you guys.

With the number of cases and deaths still rising in America – but hospitalizations stabilizing or dropping – beaches and parks are reopening. States are announcing phased plans to end their lockdowns. As of this week, Georgians can get their hair did and their nails did, because they can bowl, go to the movies, and lift weights at the gym.

Did I not call this? (I did, actually.) Americans cannot – cannot – stay home indefinitely. It’s not in our DNA. And in case you’re wondering how I feel about it, I say: Bring it. That’s right. I want to drink Margaritas at a bar with The Bestie. I want to host a Sunday dinner with my parents, my brothers, and all the kids. I want to drive to our vacation home in Lake Placid, where we can visit my husband’s parents and climb mountains and drink cocktails on our old wooden boat. I want to fly to Florida to visit my Airman, the one who calls me every day and could be deployed on a moment’s notice.

Allez! Let’s fill our syringes with disinfectant, and in the words of Aaron Boone: Open. This. Shit. Up. (Yeah, yeah. Or something like that.)

Of course I’m not serious. But it’s true about the economy and the unemployment rate and the human psychological consequences – including hunger and suicide – and, of course, the Grey Roots Crisis. Speaking of which, I ordered Madison Reed. Has anyone tried it? The box is sitting on my bathroom countertop, but I’m waiting for like ¼-inch more root, you know, to get the most of the undertaking. Poor word choice?

Over the weekend, The Hubs and I met friends of ours on a hiking trail with our dogs. I briefly wondered, will they wear masks? Will they yell socially distant anecdotes to us from across a field? I was happy to park the car and see them, enthusiastically waving, without masks. Later that day, I chatted via Houseparty with one of my oldest friends. She lamented that neither she nor her husband have masks. So, I vowed to sew masks for them. I completed the task by that evening, and now we are planning a socially distant – but in-person – Happy Hour, during which time I’ll bestow the masks upon her.

I’m sorry, guys. There comes a time when common sense, science, social norms, respect for human life, and maturity all intersect. We have reached that time.

Also, this is not just an American way of thinking. Other countries of the world are introducing phased reopening plans, including a hard-hit Italy and a very strict France. This week in Spain, children will be permitted to leave their homes once per day with an adult, and outdoor exercise will be allowed after May 2^nd. (Also, read that sentence one more time quietly to yourself.) So, as much as Americans like to believe we’re trend setters, the truth is, we’ve been taking Europe’s lead on a lot of things.

With all that said, I absolutely, 110% believe the world will see a second wave of COVID-19. And it’s going to be far more devastating than the first. That jawn is going to shake people to their cores. Desolé.

With all this talk of reopening, political tension is on the rise. There is an absolute left vs. right thing happening right now. I understand the underlying tensions, but I really don’t know why we need to do that. More importantly, I believe the country – the World! – should unite as a whole regarding 5G technology, specifically in the effort to burn every 5G cell tower to the ground, and ultimately, to hell. Because, you guys.

J/K. (No, really, I am just kidding).

Ok friends, here’s my last observation for today. The Hubs and I have been watching The Circle France over the past few days. It was released on Netflix earlier this month. The number of times the contestants say “Oh la la la la la la” is absolutely classic. And “putain.” And “merde.” I feel like I’m home again.

<le sigh> I miss Paris.